Talk Stupid

Scenes You’ll Never See In Real Life – Football Fellatio

// March 10th, 2009 // DVs Observations

INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY

A man relaxes on his living room couch watching a football game.  His back is straight and he is eating carrots, broccoli, and celery.

MAN WATCHING FOOTBALL

Honey, are you sure you don’t want to watch the game this lovely afternoon
with the guys?  You know we’d love to have you, especially since you can
call a play before it happens!  Gosh, what a great gift you have.

PAN TO:  INT.KITCHEN – DAY

In the kitchen, which sits next to the living room, a woman is pouring a glass of soy milk.

SOY MILK WOMAN

Sorry, dear.  But, I need to go to the auto shop and buy some wipers and oil.  Afterwards,
I wanted to get that lace teddy you said you wanted to bang me in.

SOY MILK WOMAN smiles and licks her lips, which is shown CLOSE UP and in SLOW MOTION.

MAN WATCHING FOOTBALL (off screen)

Honey, please, don’t be a potty mouth.  You know how that doesn’t turn me on.

SOY MILK WOMAN moves to the living room, bends down in front of MAN WATCHING FOOTBALL and starts to pull down his zipper.

MAN WATCHING FOOTBALL

Oh, honey.  Wait a minute.  Let me turn off this game so that I can pay full attention to you.

MAN WATCHING FOOTBALL sees the remote control next to SOY MILK WOMAN, but bypasses that and goes directly to the television and turns it off manually, and goes back to the couch.

MAN WATCHING FOOTBALL (CONT’D)

Okay, dear, you may commence with the fellatio.