Talk Stupid

Facebook Ruins My Faith In The Gene Pool AKA How I Lost My Chance With Padmé Amidala

// June 3rd, 2009 // DVs Observations, hot chicks

I’m sure this has happened to you… you get a friend request on Facebook and you check out as much as the user allows before you accept their friend request. Your perusal ends with the respective person being “add-worthy,” accept the friend request, and then you dig deeper into this person, gaining, for the most part, full access to their lives!!!

And upon further review of some people’s Facebook pages, and looking at photos, I have come to the conclusion that Facebook is fucking me up.

You see, there are pictures on there of couples that should NOT be couples… there is a combining of apples and oranges making appanges; black people and bleach making Michael Jackson; salt and pepper making sapper; ugly people and beautiful people making beaugly. What the fuck is beaugly? EXACTLY!

What the fuck is up with that?

For the most part it’s the guys that look like they belong in freak shows traveling the world and living the life of a carnie because women place qualities such as consideration, honesty, politeness, and someone that listens as important in their lives. For men? Big rack, phat asses, hot face, and lack of a gag reflex are high on the list. Oh c’mon, I’m kidding! Geez… not all guys are pigs and only think of women in that way… of course, they’re also all gay.

Anyway, the intermingling of beauty and beast should remain in books and movies and stay away from real life. It’s just not right… and it SHOULD stay away from Facebook, most definitely! I can’t handle seeing this atrocity on one of my favorite websites that I visit during work enjoy during my time browsing the web at home. Why am I so adverse to this? Because, unlike those porn sites that advertise hot teens, but instead show women that look like they have teenage daughters, Facebook is as real as it gets where people actually share details, such as pictures, of what is going on in their lives. Why people do that I have no fuckin’ idea, but whatever the attention whores want to do is fine with me. Again, KIDDING!

Anyway, since Facebook is as real as it gets, in my mind, I am seeing the truth like the way I’d feel a Mike Tyson haymaker to the balls – painful – and here is that violent truth – I had some fuckin’ lousy timing because I never got a chance to meet Natalie Portman during this high period of ugly and beauty mixing it up.

FUCK!