Courtesy of NextRound.net. Pretty funny stuff. Not really surprised about Clay Aiken grabbing boobs because he is a famous singer, has a set of balls, and obviously his testosterone levels just absolutely rage!

Okay, so I’m absolutely lying as the only round things he’d like to grab and rest on his chin are testicles. Is that a foul thing to say? Sure. But, is it true? Yes. Hey, I have nothing against him being gay… what I do have a problem with is him still having the audacity to grab boob. Man, that is just one big waste of a breast touch.

Anyway, enjoy the gallery. And, surprise, surprise, you’ll see some athletes and a prince in there. Oh, and your obligatory douchebags.

• Only four words could describe DV’s embarrassing story: Dinty Moore’s Beef Stew
• Afraid of sounding like she’s playing Battleshits in front of co-workers, Jax is poop shy at the job.
• Jax Birthday was on Friday. Moving right along . . . apparently, she’s a nag too!
• A slap to the face isn’t as universally funny as we thought.
• Speaking of shit, DV shares how to make shitlocks (aka dreads) and how he had to shave his head to get rid of that mistake
• Insecure men make Jax cooch dry up like a desert!
• Normal women make DV’s peen recede into his belly.
• The economic crisis has so far only hit DV, apparently he can no longer jack to it with lotion to save $$$.
• Ax Jax Segment – You, DV, and Erik take a plane trip, later on, it crashes, BUT you all survive, ending up on a deserted island. Who do you think you would have a better chance to survive with – DV or Erik?
• Breast implants become stress relieving squeeze balls.
• New Segment – Ax Jax Out! She’s looking for someone to make her feel better about her cankles and gag her when she starts nagging.
• Birthdays mean nothing to DV or I at this age. DV has clothes older than Jax.
• Jax is depressed over turning a quarter of a century old…

[audio:http://media.libsyn.com/media/talkstupid/TS_2009-01-29.mp3]

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After six years of being with the same girl I’m back in the dating scene, honestly by choice. Things feel so different. Back then I used to work in a high school so it was easy for me to pick up women. Okay I’m exaggerating, let me clarify, it’s not as pederast as it sounds. I was a 20 year old computer tech when I met this 17 year old student who used to hang out all the time with many of my friends of 4+ years. It just turns out I met her at work first. When she turned 18 (and I had just turned 21), we were hanging out almost every other day and one thing led to another… fast forward to today and I am rejoining the dating pool and feel clueless.

The only people I can easily tell like me are the gay guys that I somehow seem to attract everywhere I go. They hover around me like vultures around a corpse. I’m not trying to diss the gays, or their obvious lack of taste in hitting on my ugly ass, but if any chicks do like me it’s not as easy to tell as a gay bartender giving me a rufie colada on the house before I even give him my order.

I am one of the biggest fans of the Dog House, a radio show that I started listening to when I was in my early teens. I got to know many of their NYC fans when work sent me there to do a job. In fact my podcasting partner, DV, is also a member of this community. I decided to go to the East Coast and hang out with my DHA brethren for a Halloween get together. While there I got to talk to one of the hosts of the Fantasy Vixen show’s gay brother. I told him that gay guys are always hitting on me and asked if I was sending out some sort of vibe. He told me that gay guys prize turning a straight man out, so don’t feel too special it’s just too obvious that you’re straight. He then asked me to take off my glasses, looked into my eyes and said “no doubt…you’re definitely straight.” So I guess I can’t even take gay guys hitting on me as a compliment. Damn, this nigga gets no breaks.

Actually there is always one class of women that goes after me. The ones with boyfriends. During high school, my best friend’s girl told me “I wish I was with you instead” and I said to her “I gotta go!” Interestingly enough, after all these years they are still together. Many women who I had met through my friends have put me in similar awkward situations, even while I was dating my ex. Most recently I bumped into a girl who I took out on a “date”. We had a fun conversation. At the end of the night we were holding hands, I was hugging her closely and we were making out while trying to hail a cab. The next time I saw her she tells me about her boyfriend who she had apparently forgotten to mention.

Times like this I wish I were more of an asshole. I should’ve had these bitches hogtied, spitting in their mouths as they exclaim “Don’t Stop!!!”. Instead my goddamn conscience is screaming “DON’T, STOP!!!”

Recently, I just turned 28 years old. Time flies when you hit 21 years old, it’s like my sense of time has been irreparably destroyed by binge drinking… nah, it’s more like the calendar just got a supercharger. When I was young it always felt like my next birthday would never come, now it comes almost as fast as DV as he slaughters millions of his would-be children into a fresh new Kleenex. It feels like these things are coming so often, but it’s all good.

I feel like I’m on my way to becoming a cranky old guy. When I was younger I used to laugh at “old” people of my current age when they’d talk shit about my musical tastes. Today I listen to the hip hop of now and just think “what the hell is this bullshit?”. The only reason I even listen more than once to any of these songs is because they are annoyingly catchy and get stuck in my head. At the same time it cracks me up to think that “Rumpshaker” and “Baby Got Back” will soon be in rotation as oldies.

I can’t believe that it’s been ten years since High School. My reunion is coming up. I haven’t kept in touch with anyone from those days, so it’ll be weird re-meeting everyone. Most of these guys, like me, grew up listening to the Dog House. I can’t believe I’ve been a fan of the Dog House since middle school. I see only two possibilities, either my sense of humor is that of a middle schooler or the show has evolved along the way and kept it fresh. My vote goes to the latter.

Speaking of which, next week is the Dog House Army get together in San Francisco. So far I’ve hung out with the East Coast DHA and the West Coast DHA. Between the two get togethers that I had a chance to be a part of, I must give mad props to the East Coasters. They sure know how to throw a party. Either way I refuse to coun my West Coast brethren out for now. The East Coasters have been hanging together in person much longer; The West Coast get together I attended was the a first. I’ll report back next week on how it all goes.

While I’m at it, I thought I’d take the time to write “Chino XXXL, fuck you too”! Some people shouldn’t be throwing stones, especially people old enough to be passing stones. To think that DV called me a lardass is hilarious. I know you’ll never hear this again in your life, but for once you are NOT the biggest loser!!! Keep doing your chin-ups Chin, because you still weigh a lot more than I do. If you wanna bring it, we can keep a weekly weigh in on this blog.

Ok enough venting about my partner. When picking on him I feel like that guy in grade school who picks on the kid eating his own boogers. Sure it’s a fast laugh, but its just not satisfying…