1) Leave the Pop Tarts alone
2) Do not start shucking and jiving, talking about wanting to be a hip hop star to a police officer… there are stereotypes… and they are irresistible to not act upon
3) Most importantly, if you see a police officer, avoid him/her at all costs

So, according to WESH.com, Orlando’s NBC affiliate, two burglars didn’t heed the abovementioned advice. Of course, I didn’t give said advice until just now, but surely common sense would have had this advice for them. Apparently not because they got caught.

Frankly, if you’re going to do what these guys did, you deserve to get caught. Am I right? Thought so.

Okay, so I’m blindly assuming with my title because I have no fuckin’ idea if Miley Cyrus doesn’t like Asians or does. But hey, according to the picture above, Asians (of which I am a part of that particular race) can’t see shit with those slanty eyes anyway, so it’s fitting that I blindly assume. Quick, someone get the dental floss and tie it around my eyes so that we can prove how slanty my eyes are! (Oh, THAT old gag!!! [knee slap]).

Honestly, I can give two shits if someone makes fun of me for being Asian because I think it’s funny at how UNcreative people can be. Of course with great delivery and context, some of that actually makes me sincerely laugh. Anyway, back to Miley Cyrus above… she’s just being young and an ignorant dumbshit. I get it. BUT a few things drove me to write about this:

1) I bet you a big chunk (that’s with a “U”, people) of her audience are little Asian girls and Gaysians, who upon seeing this will… probably not give a fuck because she’s Hannah Montana!!! Shit, I wish people weren’t such zombies sometimes.

2) Why the fuck didn’t that Asian dude fuckin’ do it up Three Stooges stylo and just slap all of them bitches at once while they were doing that shit. Fuck, if anything I would have done my Miley Cyrus impersonation right then and there. What is that impersonation? It’s basically me laying down, spreading my legs, and moaning, “Oh Billy Ray…” Or I would have asked Miley for a dollar and then step to the other chick in the pic, spit game, and tell Miley, “Look, I just impersonated your boyfriend in the future! Hahahahaha… dumb chick.” That guy with the mouth over his hand? I would have asked him if that’s what he looks like as he gets donkey punched by his boyfriend banging him from behind. And that dude all the way to the right? I would have said, if you just cock your head back a couple of times, it’d just be like when you got bukkaked by those five black dudes… you have the eyes perfect, but you need to open your mouth like you did.

3) I really hate it when celebrities are dumb (I don’t care how old they are) and they really deserve to be ragged on for the stupid shit they do… ESPECIALLY… if they try to come up with some stupid way-out reason why they did it and it was just an innocent mistake. Take on the responsibility, people!!!! Like Uncle Ben said – With great power comes great responsibility (fine, he was a comic book character, but you get what I’m saying). I mean, don’t you know you’re already under a microscope?!?!?! This is just racism… or at the very least ridiculous stereotyping. I mean, it’s not even funny. What would have been funny is if they all lined up in Kung Fu stances against the lone Asian dude.

Okay, fine, that’s not funny either, but Jesus, I lost like all my brain cells from just writing about this stupid picture.

Holy shit!  We actually did a show!  Since Erik has been busy at work, we missed doing a podcast last week and I wasn’t down with us to miss another week with no podcast, DAMNIT!  So, I did a solo podcast, which pretty much sucks in the beginning, but then I roll STRONG towards the middle and end.  But then, when I was done with recording my solo show, Erik shows up online and I asked if he wanted to do a show. He said yes and then we made magic, doing a free flow show with zero show prep and topics.  Here’s some of what we talked about:

- What the fuck is BrawnDy?
- Homemade nunchucks are a child’s dream
- Erik is a hardcore street thug, SON!  Especially when he goes fishing, NUKKA!
- Shit’s live up in here!  Literally, shit is live.
- Feeding into stereotypes
- JB’in all day, every day
- Dungeons & Dragons (cool) and Magic (gay)
- And many more things… give a listen, kids!

BTW, the individual solo podcast I did will go up later on. Look out for that or make your life easier and subscribe to our blog feed.

[audio:http://media.libsyn.com/media/talkstupid/TS_2008-12-10.mp3]

iTunes Link | Generic Podcast | Just This Show